You'll Need Lots of Practice

My Magic 8 ball says things are murky.
The neocons are not acting perky.
So I'll go to the Rose Garden
And practice the Prez Pardon,
Starting with a Thanksgiving turkey.

Whatever Did We Do to Deserve This?

As liberators, no bouquet;
As occupiers, death and disarray.
All this was a presage
To their ultimate message:
Turns out they don’t want us to stay.

Murtha Is Not Baffled

I stand here, a terrorist hater,
Who voted to remove the dictator.
I believe the job’s done.
Bring them home, every one.
And don’t you dare call me a traitor.

The Republican Lament

The problem with being in power
Is that everything quickly goes sour.
You can do what you said!
It all goes to your head,
And soon it's your babies you devour.

When in Doubt, Leave Washington

My status is turning to mush.
I’m losing what’s left of my touch.
So I’m flying to China
Where everything’s fina –
Hey, does Beijing need help clearing some brush?

White House To Do List

Keep Mike Brown away from a computer.
Get the POTUS a different tutor.
Give Dick Cheney a zipper,
Toss the base one more kipper –
And I think we’re all set with ol’ Scooter.

It's That Air National Guard Experience

As long as I’m at the controls
It’s okay if it shifts, dives or rolls.
Even if there’s a flash
And it’s clear that I’ll crash --
I don’t pay attention to polls.