Wringing Endorsement

The Miers nod is now put to rest.
Here’s the list – who now to suggest?
One by one, each I veto;
Wait – now here’s Sam Alito.
Clearly, this man is second-best.

Just In: Jeb Saves George from Wilma

See, FEMA, they can’t run the show,
But we can’t let the populace know.
So I’ll step to the plate
And unequivocally state:
It’s my fault (take one more for my bro).

Bush: First Responder

So down for the count is Ms. Miers,
And we’ll head out to squelch other fires.
If you think there’s none cookin’,
I’ve got a bridge up in Brooklyn
You can have real cheap. Any buyers?

Making a List, Checking It Twice

Haldeman, Erlichmann – big cogs;
For Colson and Liddy, striped togs.
There’s Agnew and Nixon—
Wait a minute, I’m mixing
Things up. Let’s march the new frogs!

Iraq: For the Good Times

Gosh darn, we can’t spend the money
Fast enough. Everything’s sunny.
The only bad rumor:
Some don’t see the humor
In our escapade. Isn’t it funny?

Look at Me, I'm Not Indictable (I Think)

Did Rove get too close to the flame?
Scooter make a scurrilous claim?
I know I’m not fixin’
To “stand down” with Nixon.
Someone else is to blame for Ms. Plame.

Memo to Dobson: I Do War and Pestilence, Too

James D., it's your former friend, God.
I made Bush's pick seem so odd
As a sign just for you.
It means we are through.
You don't represent me, you dumb clod.

Go Back on Vacation (and Take Along Machiavelli)

They want to “intimidate the world.”
You think? Your logic has curled
Back to you. After all,
Was Iraq terror’s call,
Or the target that YOU, sir, unfurled?

Gather Round, All You Clowns

If I call it a major speech,
At least to the choir I can preach.
I’ll serve up the same stew;
They’ll think that it’s new.
No one can claim I overreach.

They're Making People Safe, Somewhere

To keep avian flu from our front yard
We need US troops as our trump card.
So says our Dear Leader,
But wouldn’t it be neater
If we got back our National Guard?

It's Only What Holds Up the Monument

I’m a lame duck -- can’t run in a race,
So I’m doing what I want in this case.
The fight might be bloody,
But Miers is an old buddy,
And who gives a fig for my base?

My Sentiments (Exactly)

That's What Friends Are For

“She has a great heart”—Baloney!
Dear Shrub, you are such a big phony;
With Miers as your pick,
You’re not very slick.
Try honesty: “She’s a crony.”

New Tune by Harriet Miers and the Supremes

If with the Bush cronies you hobnob
You can select yourself from the snob mob.
You might not be qualified,
And who cares if they’re mollified?
Let’s nominate ME for the robe job.

Conserve Energy -- Burn a Bush

My face just gets redder and redder
As I’m doing old liberals one better.
Today it was Carter,
That damned milquetoast martyr—
Say, Laura, do I own a sweater?