Maybe That's As High As They Can Count

Among the al-Qaeda crew,
Bin Laden is first, it’s true.
But after the top,
It’s quite a sheer drop.
Everyone else seems to be Number Two.

Speaking Words of Wisdom

That’s not slime, understand – That’s emulsion.
We won’t “throw the bums out” – It’s expulsion.
The neocons have preferred
That we choose the precise word.
It’s not anger we feel – It’s revulsion.

Never Met One They Didn't Hate

In the 50’s, the Dems had Boll Weevils
Who protested integration’s upheavals.
The neocons do them proud –
‘Cept being rich (that’s allowed!),
Virtually every human right they find evil.

Tom, Swiftly

So the grand jury’s now had its say
And they think we might put him away
For up to two years.
Let’s lift up our beers:
Justice for Tom! Sans DeLay!

Fixing a Hole Where the Rain Comes In

They say that Big Gov is a curse,
So Repubs choose to plunder the purse.
With the swag they’ve been lenient
So it’s damned inconvenient
That Small Gov turns out to be worse.

Needed: Parts for Hoffman and Redford

Sometimes now is the same as then.
It all comes full circle again.
The scandal plots thicken
And Washington plays chicken.
Let’s redo “All the President’s Men.”

Mea Minima Culpa

So Michael Brown’s contrition
Is gone, along with his position.
Did he do anything wrong?
He’s not singing that song.
The blame game – that’s his new mission.

Frist: Evolution for Rich People

The stock’s in blind trust, but it’s mine.
It gets sold when I give the sign.
When my family biz starts to smell,
Before it’s public, I sell.
It’s called Intelligent Design.

Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind?

So GOP politicos natter
As they watch their budget plans shatter.
There’s only so much dough;
To which Gulf should it go?
Guess what, folks? Deficits matter!

FEMA Could Squander It, Too

We pour a billion into Iraq’s defense;
Making democracy is our pretense.
Now the money is missing,
And I’m reminiscing:
Was this the war that made sense?

Cheney Will Stop Them

I seem to have misplaced my groove
And the voters don’t seem to approve.
And still I am merry
‘Cause I beat John Kerry
And they have (almost) no means to remove.

What Speech?

There once was a man from Crawford
Who had to use neocon buzzwords.
They seemed to be his opiate,
Even when inappropriate,
Leaving us to sigh and use cuss words.

I Thought Pork Was Prohibited

There’s a black hole in the Middle East
Where our tax dollars go to be deceased.
We’re buying hypocrisy
Instead of democracy,
And finding new ways to “feed the beast.”

Myopia for the Rich!

Here’s a conservative think-tank position.
Let’s make it a Katrina decision.
It won’t help the city
(Aw, shucks, what a pity)
But it fits very well with my vision.

Bush at the Bastille

The multibillionaire relaxes.
He won’t have to add to his taxes
To fund Nola’s return.
He keeps his moolah to burn.
Peasants, time to sharpen the axes.

Why Small Business Needs Our Help

There are some folks that God just won’t bless;
I’d name them, but Rove says suppress.
They won’t go away meekly,
So we’ll fix them obliquely.
It’s hard work, but we’re making progress.

Bush: Bold Thoughts, Then a Bathroom Break

I was sitting in my local pizzeria
When I got this brilliant idea.
Any time we're at a loss
We’ll deliver cheese and red sauce;
Works for me. Start with North Korea.

All the Money's Gone, Nowhere to Go

When young I went to the Big Easy
On Daddy’s dough. Life was so breezy
With no responsibility.
Why the hostility
If I do it again? Is that sleazy?

The Exception That Proves the Fool

The Senate’s core is a quorum
Of humans with brains and decorum.
They represent those
From their states, friends or foes –
Yeah, right. Case in point: Rick Santorum.

Bush: Lies, Damned Lies, and Whatever I Said

Where there’s truth, I’m an excellent dancer;
Where’s there’s lies, I can’t see the cancer.
It’s never too late
For me to investigate.
Why ask, if you’re the one with the answer?

If You Want Me To, I Will

There haven’t been rhymes on the SCOTUS
But it’s not ’cause there’s nothing to notice.
It seems no one is scoring
Because Roberts is boring.
Besides, who is more fun than the POTUS?

One Man's Ceiling Is Another Man's Floor

In case you had any doubt,
Tom Delay continues to spout.
But it’s contradictory,
His “ongoing victory.”
May he suffer an ongoing rout.

Responsibility -- How I Hate That Word

Hey, boys and girls, Dubya is back!
“My bad” is the new line of attack.
We won’t laugh at your expense
If you don’t keep us in suspense:
When do you take blame for Iraq?

Pretzel Logic

I have every right to a gun
Even if I loot it and run.
It’s simple, I reckon
To meet the tests of the Second,
‘Cause I’m a militia of one.

Tail End of the Bell Curve

When seen through the right-winger’s prism
It’s all “Small-Gov” opportunism.
But if you’re hell-bent
To get rid of government,
Isn’t that Marx’s Communism?

A Study in Contrasts

There once was the Paula Jones mess,
And Monica Lewinsky’s soiled dress.
Now consider the war
And the Katrina furor.
Clearly, we’ve impeached for far less.

Brownie, We Hardly Knew Ye

Now that they’ve thrown him to the mob,
Let’s join Michael Brown in a sob.
We’re now all aware
That the Bushies don’t care –
Brownie, you’ve done a heck of a job.

They Cause Less Trouble This Way

The Administration’s getting on top
Of things. Each day they drop
Officials into town
Who wait for the sound:
“[Insert here], time for your photo op.”

There Was a Mixup at the Lab

“Master, does Bushenstein have a brain?”
“Well, Igor, let’s test him again.
Perhaps on inspection
We’ll find a connection
That’s loose, for there’s no sign he feels pain.”

She Could Steal, But She Could Not Run

These days, this cranky old fellow rants
About those damn GOP elephants.
Let’s make a correction
In the next election
And consign them to irrelevance.

What They Need's a Damn Good Whacking

It’s not Three Stooges time, boys – Boink!
It’s not Spy vs. Spy either – Ploink!
There’s enough for us all now,
So line up at the Bush trough.
(Excuse me, did I hear an oink?)

Show the Amateurs How it's Done

At Kellogg, Brown and Root
There’s a new definition for “loot.”
For every disaster
There’s a public paymaster
And it’s all (barely) legal, to boot!

You Don't Know How Lucky You Are, Boys

The American Dream is imbued
With views many-faithed, multi-hued,
To be equal and free,
From sea to each sea—
We’d better work fast, or we’re screwed.

Survivor: Washington

Apparently Bush is too tired
To acknowledge the bastards he’s sired.
When anyone errs,
He kicks them upstairs.
What’s it take around here to get fired?

Lime Rick Offering Aid

Presidential Business Skills by Donald Trump

Even though Mike Brown’s a menace,
You can’t put “remove” in a sentence.
Don’t know how to hire,
Don’t know how to fire.
Haven’t you watched The Apprentice?

You Never Give Me Your Money

Governing’s so easy to do
If you’re President Bush and his crew.
Just put some bucks down
And you’re hired, like Mike Brown.
Shucks, maybe I’m qualified, too!

Talking Points

Democrats, don’t be demure;
For your malaise we now have a cure.
Bush’s gigantic goof
On Katrina is proof
He can’t make the country secure.

It's French -- Try It Anyway

Bush in the headlights – say cheese!
The White House is now under siege.
While New Orleans is draining,
Remember your training
And practice some noblesse oblige.

And the Horse He Rode In On

Competence? Bush is a ringer
For Alfred E Neuman... Let’s linger
On “Who is at fault?”
Instead of a halt,
Let’s point at Bush (upward) a finger.

Hey, Dummies, They're in Iraq

These pols must think that we’re dupes.
They put us through all sorts of hoops
For the help we so need.
Do our leaders lead?
Nope – they’re out looking for troops.